How happy I was back then...
Read this from a friend's blog:'... I remember doing that when I was really young and visiting Disneyland with my parents and how happy I was back then. ...'
It is not Disneyland - it is the 'how happy I was back then'.
The moment when I saw this I was really stirred - how happy I was back then.
My parents used to bring me to the library a lot. Playground, cycling, hiking, excursions to offshore islands - making long distance bus/tram/ferry trips with my grandfather...
My dad used to like scaring me by sitting really hard onto the see-saw, thus making me fly from my seat for an inch or so - and that used to freak me out a lot. He would come attacking us with his moustache before he goes shaving. And every night, without fail, we would read something together before I go to bed. It could be a very difficult English novel which he himself didn't know all the words or it could be a couple of pages in the atlas - I loved maps, I still do.
During summer I used to go for all kinds of classes - I have learnt English phonetics, cooking for children, oral Mandarin, computer programming for children - and how much fun I had in them.
My parents never put pressure on us to learn or do anything except two: 1) study 2) discipline. There used to be a whiteboard in our house stating all the extra assignments my dad gave us, and there used to be a calender next to our beds with stars. If we were exceptionally good that day, we get a yellow star; good, green; a bit naughty, red; naughty, orange; very naughty, gold; exceptionally naughty, silver; unacceptable, it would be a cross (accompanied by a reason). If we accumulated 10 consecutive green stars (and I think 1 yellow = 2 green?), we would get a ticket which entitled us to a choice of entertainment - an extra trip to the park, the library, games arcade, etc.
Of course my parents played judge. And it was not easy - but within reasonable range - to get a yellow/green star. And of course, if we were unacceptably naughty, there was a feather duster on top of the living room cupboard waiting to be used against us.
My parents taught me how to do housework, and I willingly helped - and my mum just recently told me, that because of my poor skills, she would have to re-wash every plate and bowl that I washed after I had slept...
Now I am no longer at home. My parents had taught me what they have to teach me - and after doing that, they were completely confident of their product. They gave me the reassurance and let me out.
Now I am out here, seeing the world, gaining experiences, meeting people, making decisions - my parents never interfered. They didn't even ask me to go home. They let my sister out too - they let her go to HK to study, and told me, 'Bring your sister out with you! You have done so much travelling and your sister hasn't. Show her how you do it so that she can do it too!'
So they asked me how much they should give my sister, and she will be coming to the UK and subsequently going to France with me with £500 and 300 Euros. When she is in the UK, I won't be free - so she will be on her own for quite some time.
Meanwhile - they will remain in Singapore; my dad is still working, and my mum is volunteering and going for classes almost every day.
They trust us, because they are confident that, as children brought up by them, we can handle situations just like they had because of the education they had given us. They know that I will look after my sister, and she will look after me. They do not want us to be sheltered, and they started training us since we were young. They know that it is better for us to be outside rather than being at home, although they would have very much preferred that we stayed at home......
I do go home - but I do not go back for long. If I were to go back this summer to work for A*STAR again, unless I have a terrific justification, my dad is definitely going to try to persuade me not to. He still wants to see me - very much - but he has an opinion of what is good for me, and he is willing to sacrifice so that I can get the most out of my education.
They are still sacrificing for us. By not asking me when I am going to go home, they, still, are.
(That's why I was stirred - how happy I was back then. How much have our parents done for us!)
My mum has more than once told me, that the greatest joy for a parent would be - to see her child grow up to become someone who is not a liability to society, and the bonus would be that he can contribute to society. I shouldn't let them down. Not ever.
