Let's talk about love...
1. Is everyone capable of loving?Answer: Yes, unless you have some unknown-to-me neurological defect. Ask your doctor.
2. Then why is it that some people just seem so heartless?
Answer: That is because they either have the neurological defect or they have not found someone to love.
3. Does love need to be nurtured?
Answer: Yes and no. Capability to love is innate, but how people present their love and how they identify targets to love depend tremendously on what they were taught - i.e. their value systems.
4. What is your definition of love?
Answer: My definition of love is simple. Love = 'a quality that prompts you to sacrifice yourself for the other party unconditionally'. This is a moral bottomline and is non-negotiable.
5. How many forms of love are there?
Answer: Numerous. God <-> humankind, parents <-> children, sibling <-> sibling, husband <-> wife, boyfriend <-> girlfriend, friend <-> friend, individual -> community/country, etc etc etc.
6. How would you express your love?
Answer: Depends. It is not necessarily about presents or 'I love you' or whatnot - and it really depends. A very hard question to answer - because most probably I won't know I am doing it when I am doing it. If you think I am, then I am; if you think I am not, then I am not. Fair?
7. Any final comments?
Answer: Love must be mutual for any relationship to work out - not restricted to that between a guy and a girl. If you have the tendency to love someone without the other person loving you, then you are destined to be a super card collector (see 好人卡). If you have the tendency to not love someone despite the other loving you, you are not only a super card giver (if you are a popular girl) but you are also destined to cause distress (when the other party is your mum).
Sigh what we learnt from our parents made us destined to be taken advantage of - because they are being taken advantage of all the time. We can't stand things that are not done properly, and we will really go and do it - I have been doing this in the army and I am still doing this now, from clearing rubbish/cleaning toilet to doing weekend duties/preparing reagents etc...
I generally don't feel that I am being taken for granted because I willingly do it. Some people think that I am - e.g. my mother - but I just shrug it off...
Now as I see that she is being brutally taken for granted I understand how she feels. I am really pretty upset - though what can I do about it? She loves her sister, and we love our aunt - and for that we have to make some sacrifice right? I know that my mum won't be happy if we force her to go back to Singapore, and that will compromise our aunt...
She had been calling me quite frequently for the past 2 weeks; it had been tiring and emotionally draining for her. I listened, and tried to tell her things that I think is right... it works most of the time because her values are mine. Sushi has been under a lot of stress also; she is having midterms after midterms and yet she had to make sure that mum is okay and help her out when needed... She has been doing a great job really - thank you so much.
Sushi didn't understand some stuff and that prompted me to write this. Yeah, some people may think that we are troublesome, crazy, stupid, overly cautious, asking for trouble... though the most important thing is, we know that we are doing the right thing. We have to be able to stand by ourselves before we can stand up in front of others.
Everyone can love - it's just harder for some people. You will see... eventually...
Labels: Life, Philosophy and Religion, Relationships
