Ladies First.
Someone asked on Yahoo! Answer:有一日...*我班有一位男生說:「這個世界本身己經不公平,為何要Lady First??為何要以女士為先呢??這樣對男士不公平,應該男女平等。」就在以上的文字,談談自己的看法....*
(Why do we have to practice 'Ladies First'? It's not fair to the gentlemen... Men and women should be equal!)
I said:
你的ladies first問題的爭議主要出自某些女性希望得到`特權`. 在維多利亞年代, 女性的社會地位依然低下, ladies first展現的是男子的`風度`, 是一種由上至下的, 以男性為中心的行為, 屬於一種男性對女性的`施捨`. 現在女性地位改變, 男女漸趨平等, 但是某些女性在看回以前男性對待女性的方式的時候, 對自己女性的身分開始有了一種浪漫的憧憬, 認為這是女性應有的`特權`, 因此開始要求男性這麼對待自己. 不論在任何年代, 沒有風度的男性都不被社會所接受, 因為`沒有風度`等於`無視弱者的需要`. 當現今女性如此要求男性的時候, 她們是在一定程度上濫用她們的身分: 既接受現今社會的男女平等概念, 也利用她們傳統上`弱者`的身分要求特權.
我非常支持男女平等; 現今社會很多方面男人和女人之間都應該受到同等對待, 例如投票權, 參政權, 職業機會, 薪金等等. 另一方面, 我亦反對任何方式的特權. 因此, 如果我覺得我應該做, 我不管你是女的是男的我都會幫你提袋子開車門; 我不會因為你是女性特地為你做這些東西. 同樣的, 我也不會要求女性服侍我 - 我認為我的女朋友必須負責任, 能獨立思考, 思想上和我差不多, 這樣才能互相扶持和互補不足. 很多人覺得我神經病, 可我認為, 在現在的社會, 男性不應該絕對的主導, 女性也不應該有特權, 這樣才能貫徹平等的精神.
當然, 男人和女人的社會角色可以不一樣: 男人外出工作, 女人看顧家庭, 並不代表男女不平等, 不一樣的只是角色. 在一個普通, 沒有傭人的家庭裡, 男人外出工作家裡沒人照顧不行, 女人留在家裡沒有人拿錢回家一樣不行, 沒有那一樣比較重要的問題. 當然女人可以不接受這種角色而和男人一樣外出工作; 她們選擇的是角色而不是社會地位, 反之男人亦然. 社會沒能認識這一點是男女平等實行的一大障礙, 遲早必須排除.
I was given 40 points for this answer :D
Summary: I suggested that 'Ladies First' is a remnant of a Victorian practice in which gentleman, being the gender with more power in society, bestows grace upon ladies in such a form to acknowledge their status as the weaker gender. Thus I oppose to such a notion because I believe in equality between genders, and thus, when women ask men to grant them this special privilege while advocating gender equality at the same time, they are technically abusing their female identity.
And I argue that females and males can have different traditional roles in society, there is no difference in status between the roles, and any gender can choose to not play those traditional roles. I further argued that my future partner ought to be responsible, hold similar values as I do, but she also must be able to think independently and critically - so as to fill up each other's blind spots and to achieve a better future together.
I told that to Yiran (I just simply said that my wife in the future cannot be too stupid) and his conclusion is that I am mad - because his idea of a perfect wife is someone who is *above-average looking* and *cannot be smarter than him* :D *edited 30 March 2008, 11:03pm
Labels: Policy and Politics
